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” — and that’s exactly what writer Josh Sundquist did for his new book We Should Hang Out Sometime (Little, Brown Books for Young Readers).
So now that you've delved into your past and you're a champion dater, what's one piece of dating advice you want to share?Opposed to being fake, misleading and untruthful, being authentic is centered on acting with sincere intentions, owning your personality (who you are) and representing yourself honestly. Well, not necessarily, if you are falsely agreeing and not honoring your truth.It is common to operate on the belief that you will be more attractive and likeable to your date if you are agreeable. Agreeing with your date when you really do not feel the same way results in you lying to yourself (which never feels good) and misrepresenting yourself to your date.Rachel’s areas of expertise include relationships, self-esteem, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and stress management. We’d all love to go back and ask the people we dated (or tried to date), “What went wrong?An exchange rooted in distortions, lies and exaggerations creates a barrier to building a genuine connection and honest relationship. Without oversharing and making the date all about you, avoid withholding important information, such as whether or not you have kids, if you are planning on relocating anytime soon and if you have been engaged or married before.The key is to look for commonalities and bond over them while acting on your inner truth and understanding that you and your date are unlikely to feel the same way about everything. It is not necessary to spill this all at once, but be mindful of telling the truth if your date asks. Acting as your most authentic self requires calm nerves and comfort in your own skin.” type thoughts and bring your attention back to learning about your date and figuring out if you are interested as well.Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach, specializing in psychotherapy for individuals and couples via her private practice in Bethesda, Maryland.Knowing that all of these concerns are valid and natural to the dating process can make the burden a bit lighter, but how can you focus your attention on being authentically you instead of getting caught up in all of the “what if’s” that distract you from the moment?Authenticity involves acting in genuine ways that are true to you.